Healing Beyond Family History

Were You Subjected To A Childhood of Confusion, Fear and Neglect?

If you grew up with a parent who was extremely self-absorbed, overly critical, and controlling and/or has a personality disorder (especially Narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder), you may now doubt your ability to take risks and make important decisions as an adult.  Was your mother or father so overly involved in your activities, academics, or circle of friends that you felt smothered or robbed of your childhood?  Were you raised by someone with severe abandonment or identity issues that their behavior created chronic tension, anger or instability in the household? Or it could be that you experienced so much emotional deprivation and neglect that you now have trouble trusting others or forming healthy relationships.  If this describes your young life experience, then you may, as an adult, be grappling with a multitude of emotional suffering and broken relationships.

Being brought up in a home where the concerns of the parent come before those of the child, creates a harsh and lonely environment to grow and thrive. You may have been raised by someone who was extremely arrogant and grandiose to the extent that they would do anything to increase their own status through your accomplishments. You’ve likely weathered tempests of mood swings, spontaneous arguments, and unpredictable behaviors. Perhaps now you are no longer under their direct influence, yet may be wondering who you are without them, despite the sense of relief that comes with their absence.  Even more problematic may be the reality you remain caught in the emotional bind involving a parent who still controls your adult life.

Was your Birth Family Fragmented and Broken?

Growing up with a toxic or personality disordered parent leaves one feeling like I have to be perfect all the time. You may not have been taught or learned the skills and developed the ability to achieve a life that feels like your own…guided by your desires…self-directed. You may believe that needing help is a sign of weakness or a burden on others.  Low self-esteem, feelings of shame, or lack of self-worth make it even harder to live up to impossible standards. Those of us who manage to achieve accomplishments, often become addicted to work, performance, and image. But no matter how successful you become, you may never feel good enough.

Coming to terms with childhood neglect or emotional/physical abuse is difficult no matter the circumstances. However, with my help, you can learn to process your past and free yourself from the tyranny of guilt, shame, and doubt, and reclaim your life with greater autonomy and confidence.

Further reading:
Coping Strategies for Relating with a High Maintenance Parent
Adult Child Recovery from an Over-Bearing Parent

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Open Your Door To A Brighter Future

Many people describe therapy as a journey and welcome the chance to become more conscious about their inner world, to awaken their potential, and to Open Doors to new opportunities in their interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships.

I can help you manage difficult decisions and navigate challenging life changes with confidence. Contact me for a free 30 minute video consultation.